Thursday, November 12, 2015

Number Three: The Dreamer

Number three The dreamer
Number three The dreamer 4 I'm wearing:

1. Oversized clubmasters, from Ray-Ban.
2. Custom made sweatshirt with elbow patches.
3. Super skinny jeans in acid wash, from Pull & Bear.
4. Wrinkled suede Chelsea boots, from Asos.
5. UP Move fitness tracker, from Jawbone.
6. Wrap up bracelets, from H&M and Coach.
Get a similar look with East Dane
Clubmaster sunglasses, from Ray Ban / Denis modern sweatshirt, from French Trotters / Dylan skinny jeans, from AG / Andes nubuck Chelsea boots, from Vince
Number three The dreamer 2 The day you stop having dreams... That day, you die on the inside. Think about all the great minds of every different generation, they weren't your average Joe, they were weird, eccentric, misunderstood even. I've been thinking a lot about that lately, I want to know where I'm heading and what to do with my life. I know I want to be remembered and give something to the world. I'm just feeling a bit stuck at the moment.

Self-government is an easy idea to grasp, you know? It's about taking control of yourself, your actions; how hard could that be? In paper, everything is quite easy, actually. You map something for yourself, create a plan, build structures and paths... But, every now and then, you hit a rock and that paralyses you. Suddenly, your dreams, those things that keep you going all the time, produce angst and frustration. 

I need to know and feel that my dreams are achievable. Sometimes it feels like they're so far away and so out of my reach... That's horrible. That puts me in a terrible situation where I feel stuck and don't know what to do, how to get out. I lose all sense of self-government and start acting out in ways that I don't necessarily like. I've made peace with the idea of being both happy and sad at the same time, that's perfectly fine. But what's really bothering me is the not knowing. I need to search and find the right path to keep following my dreams. I am, and always will be, a dreamer.

// El día que dejas de tener sueños... Ese día te mueres por dentro. Piensen en todas las grandes mentes de las diferentes generaciones, no eran personas del montón, eran raros, excéntricos, incluso poco entendidos. He estado pensando mucho en eso últimamente, quiero saber hacia dónde voy y qué  hacer con mi vida. Sé que quiero ser recordado y darle algo al mundo. Sólo que, por ahora, me siento un poco estancado. 

El auto-control es una idea fácil de concebir, ¿saben? Se trata de tomar control de ti mismo, de tus acciones; ¿qué tan difícil puede ser eso? En papel, todo es bastante fácil. Haces un mapa de lo que quieres, creas un plan, construyes estructuras y caminos... Pero, de vez en cuando, topas con una pared y eso te paraliza. De repente tus sueños, esas cosas que te motivan a seguir adelante todo el tiempo, producen angustia y frustración.

Necesito saber que mis sueños son posibles. A veces siento que están muy lejos y muy fuera de mi alcance... Es horrible. Eso me ponen una situación de miedo donde me siento estancado y no sé qué hacer, cómo salir. Pierdo todo sentido de auto-control y comienzo a reaccionar en formar que no necesariamente me gustan. He hecho las pases con estar feliz y triste al mismo tiempo, eso está perfectamente bien. Pero lo que me molesta mucho es no saber. Necesito buscar y encontrar el camino que me permita seguir persiguiendo mis sueños. Soy, y siempre voy a ser, un soñador.
Number three The dreamer 6 Number three The dreamer 3 Number three The dreamer 7 Number three The dreamer 5 Love always,
Henry.

Photographer: Agus Paredes.

Currently listening: Girls' Generation - Mr. Mr.

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