Thursday, November 26, 2015

Number Six: The Wallflower

number six the wallflower
number six the wallflower 5 I'm wearing:

1. Wide brim hat in black, from H&M.
2. Biker jacket in leather and denim, from Pull & Bear.
3. Striped t-shirt with scoop neck, from H&M.
4. Super skinny jeans in black, from Dr. Denim.
5. Leather Chelsea boots in black, from Pull & Bear.
6. Watch frame necklace, Maison Martin Margiela for H&M.
Get a similar look with East Dane
Ceglace Chelsea boots, from Armando Cabral / Tyler leather biker jacket, from Matthew Miller / French Terry striped gel print tee, from T by Alexander Wang / Skinny fit raw jeans 25, from BLK DNM
number six the wallflower 7 The perks of being a wallflower include going unnoticed, being the perfect confidant and also becoming a good observer. I've considered myself as a wallflower for quite a long time now and I don't see that as a bad thing to be, you know? I've accepted that I'm a little shy (and that shyness gets even worse when I'm in big crowds), that I'm also a bit socially awkward and that I'm not rainbows and flowers all the time. I actually like that about myself, but, problems arise in the shape of people who don't understand, people who aren't cool with that.

What happens when you're okay with being the way you are but you end up facing conflict because people expect you to be something else? My mom told me once that you should never show people how much their insults and bullying hurt you, that you shouldn't show how much you care... And that's a pretty great strategy. Lately, and I mentioned this on a previous post, I've been dealing with people telling me that I'm too snobbish or too arrogant. I don't like that they're talking about me, but, in my attempt of not showing them how little I care, I stopped caring about that at all.

Self-government strikes once again. I'm learning how to manage and deal with emotion, conflicts, nasty people. I think, two years ago, I would've been extremely upset and, either, violent or sad about it. But I've worked on my issues, dealt with my demons, and now I'm okay with being the way I am (mostly). I'm that weird, funny, guy that sees and hears everything, that has a lot of information about people and that is reliable. I'm a wallflower and that's okay.

// Las ventajas de ser wallflower incluyen pasar desapercibido, ser el confidente perfecto y, también, ser un buen observador. Me he considerado un wallflower por mucho tiempo ya y no lo veo como algo malo ¿saben? Aprendí a aceptar que soy un poco tímido (y esa timidez es peor cuando estoy en grupos grandes), que también soy un poquito incómodo socialmente y que no soy arcoiris y primavera todo el tiempo. Incluso me gusta eso sobre mí, pero, los problemas surgen en la forma de gente que no entiende, que no le gusta eso.

¿Qué sucede cuando estás bien con quien eres pero terminas en conflicto porque la gente espera que seas diferente? Mi mamá me dijo alguna vez que nunca hay que enseñarle a la gente lo mucho que sus insultos y bullying te lastima, que no hay que enseñarles cuánto te importa... Y esa es una estrategia bastante buena. Últimamente, y mencione esto en un post pasado, he lidiado con la gente diciéndome que soy muy snob o muy arrogante. No me gusta que estén hablando de mí, pero, en mi intento de no mostrarles lo poco que me importa, terminé dándome cuenta que no me importa para nada.

El auto-control ataca nuevamente. Estoy aprendiendo a controlar y lidiar con emociones, conflictos, gente del mal. Creo que, hace dos años, hubiera estado bastante molesto y, quizá, violento o triste al respecto. Pero he trabajado en mis problemas, lidiado con mis demonios, y ahora estoy bien con la persona que soy (casi siempre). Soy ese chavito raro, chistoso, que ve y escucha todo, que tiene mucha información sobre las personas y que es confiable. Soy un wallflower y esto está bien.
number six the wallflower 4 number six the wallflower 6 number six the wallflower 2 number six the wallflower 3 Love always,

Currently listening: Ryn Weaver - The Fool.

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