Monday, May 23, 2016

The Dark Side Of The Sun

The Dark Side of the Sun
The Dark Side of the Sun 6 I'm wearing:

1. Bomber jacket with jaguar print, from H&M.
2. Cut & Sew t-shirt in black and white, from Zara.
3. Skinny jeans in acid wash, from H&M.
4. Suede creepers in grey, from Kr3w.
5. Sunglasses, from ALDO.
6. Rings, from H&M.
Get a similar look with East Dane
Bergen suede wingtips, from To Boot New York / Nylon dot aviator jacket, from Calvin Klein Jeans / Chevron insert tee, from Fred Perry by Raf Simmons / Scrambler biker jeans, from Zanerobe.
The Dark Side of the Sun 4
Something truly awful has happened to me since ever since I came back from Japan (and the same thing happened to after Korea): I can't seem to stop thinking about living somewhere else, having a different life. Everything here at home seems bleaker, sadder, it's terrible. I don't mean to sound snobbish or anything but, being able to live somewhere else really changes you, it gives you a new set of eyes and helps you understand the thing you want (and don't want) for you in the future.

That has been my main struggle during this month; some parts of my life here I really love, you know, people, places and my job as a blogger but; on the other hand, there's so much about Mexico that stresses me out: deficient public transportation, crime, everything is so expensive compared to what you earn, traffic... And the list goes on and on. For some reason, I was never raised to love this country and I'm about crazy jealous of the people able to do that.

I wish things were different but I can't control how I feel. I know there's a better world for me out there, a place that makes me happier than being in here. It's like some shadow is clogging all that's beautiful and nice, like I'm trapped on the dark side of the sun and I'm unable to feel comfortable. There's malease all around me and I just want it to stop. And I'm sorry if this post is depressing, I'll make sure the next one has more rainbows and unicorns in it, haha.

// Algo muy terrible me pasó desde que regresé de Japón (y lo mismo me pasó después de Korea): no puedo dejar de pensar en vivir en otro lado, tener una vida distinta. Todo aquí en casa se siente triste, sin chiste, es horrible. No quiero sonar engreído ni nada pero, tener la posibilidad de vivir en otro lado te cambia mucho, te da un nuevo par de ojos y te ayuda a entender las cosas que quieres y no quieres para el futuro.

Ese ha sido mi estrés durante este mes; amo algunas partes de mi vida aquí, ya saben, gente, lugares, mi trabajo como blogger pero; por otro lado, hay tanto de México que me causa angustia: transporte público deficiente, crimen, todo es tan caro comparado con los salarios, tráfico... Y la lista sigue y sigue. Por alguna razón nunca me criaron para amar a este país y me da mucha envidia la gente que sí puede hacerlo.

Desearía que las cosas fueran diferentes pero no puedo controlar cómo me siento. Sé que hay un mundo mejor para mí allá afuera, un lugar que me hace más feliz que aquí. Es como si una sombra estuviera tapando todo lo que es bueno y bonito, como si estuviera atrapado en el lado obscuro del sol y no me puedo sentir cómodo. Hay un malestar alrededor de mí y sólo quiero que se detenga. Y lo siento si este post es deprimente, me aseguraré de que el siguiente tenga más arcoiris y unicornios, jaja.
The Dark Side of the Sun 7 The Dark Side of the Sun 3 The Dark Side of the Sun 5 The Dark Side of the Sun 2 Love always,

Currently listening: Paloma Faith - Agony (Acoustic).

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